Feeling sad but choosing joy…

Is it just me or has this ever happened to you… you are working really hard at organizing and pulling things together to make things run smoothly. Then you seem to run right into a wall.  I had been doing pretty good with organizing and getting us back on schedule when the kids and I seem to all have been hit with a nasty cold.  Some are worse than others.  Today, I think I was the one hit hardest, it felt like my poor head was going to explode.

Not sure if it is a combination of being sick and pregnant or what but as things progressed I started to feel very sorry for myself.   Since moving out this way a few years ago, I left behind my closest girlfriends and well  I’ve made friends, I just haven’t made any really deep friendships.  You know the kind of friend I mean where you can pick up the phone and cry on their shoulder, or pop in with your 5 kids just to have an ice tea and pray together.  This has been the hardest 9 1/2 months of my life and Dave has been an amazing support and Mom, Dad and Brother have been here for us.  We’ve had the support of our church and many people… but I miss being able to pick up the phone and just pour out what I’m thinking with a close friend.

I mentioned it to Dave today and his response was,”Welcome to the desert.” Although he does have a close guy friend out here.  I feel pathetic… I know there are seasons for everything.  For whatever reason, for this season in my life it has to be Jesus that fills this void.  I do not like feeling sorry for myself.  I have 5 pairs of eyes watching me and watching to see how I respond to all that life throws at me.

Today in school we started using some of 1+1+1=1’s Raising Rock Stars program.  The verse we are working with this week is;

“Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” – Matt. 5:16

 So as I poured myself a cold cup of water, and thought how do I let my light, my life shine when I am feeling like this.  Amazingly, my mood sets the tone of the house it is so important for me to shine as I have 5 people watching me.  It has to be genuine though, it is true, I still miss not being able to pick up the phone and share my hopes and fears with a friend, instead I only have to bow my head and my perfect friend hears all.  
 be content with such things as you have: for he has said, I will never leave you, nor forsake you.”- Hebrews 13:5


We are all faced with different challenges it is easy to go with our emotions and let ourselves get pulled down, but in all things we have choices.  I will choose joy… and it is contagious!!

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