Feeling sorry for myself…

I don’t do this very often but tonight I am going all out and having myself a full fledged pity party. There is my disclaimer you can stop reading right now… if you want to come along with me as I wallow for the next five minutes you do so at your own peril.

Tomorrow Dave and I will be married for 13 years! We have never really done much for our anniversaries. I might make a cake and a special dinner. Sometimes we would exchange cards. On our first anniversary we had an almost 3 month old and little means. As the years have gone by and our means slowly increased so did our family size and our schedule.

This year was going to be different, this year I planned ahead, 3 months ahead to the day. I got tickets to see Micheal W. Smith but more importantly Down Here was opening for him and Dave and I LOVE Down Here. I had babysitting booked 3 months ahead of time. We were going to go out to dinner and I am not talking Mc Donalds drive thru. An actual sit down, nice lighting, semi romantic atmosphere restaurant. Did I mention Down Here was the opening act.

You know where I am the night before my anniversary when I should be singing along with DOWN HERE, I am back at the hospital with Joel. If I was at the concert, having a great time, Joel would be having a blast at a sleepover with Gramma and Biba and all his brothers and sisters. There would have been popcorn, pop and movies. So believe me if Joel knew what tonight should have been he’d be thinking we got a raw deal too.

Oh I know there are definitely worse tragedies in this world then missing Michael W. Smith and DOWN HERE but I am feeling a little like it’s my party and I can cry if I want to.
See this chair this is where I am sitting right now, if I want to make it into more of a lounge chair I can do this to it.
I bet your all thinking that’s not so bad, BUT, I could be with a sold out crowd singing along with Down Here and Michael. Then when all those happy little concert goers are snuggling down for their night reliving the wonderful evening they had, I will snuggle down here beside my buddy Joel, who if he only knew he could be hanging out with Gramma and Biba, would I am sure be looking a little bit sad. Instead of just wondering why on earth I am taking a picture of our beds.
The only slightly positive thing is that Dave was able to find someone to bless with the tickets instead of them going to waste. If you’ve never heard of Down Here you can give them a listen by clicking Down Here (This one is a Christmas tune but I LOVE IT) and if you’ve never heard Michael then click over here. Now if you have read this far I am impressed because I think I am even getting tired of feeling sorry for myself. I am guessing it is unlikely that I will get the chance to see these two in concert together again (I say again meaning that it is unlikely that they will necessarily tour together again… not that I would see them again because we all know that I didn’t see them… not sure why I felt the need to clarify that… perhaps so I could say once again that I am missing Down here and Michael tonight on the eve of my 13th wedding anniversary.) I may get the chance to see Down Here somewhere else one day… you never know anything is possible. Now don’t think for a moment I am resenting Joel there is no other place in the world I would be then by his side. I think he would totally agree that this is lousy. So I will say I speak for Joel and myself when I say cancer your an abysmal, nasty, mean and rotten mess!!!!