Joel and I headed to the hospital today for another chemo, just an in and out in one day chemo. It was an odd day filled with little mishaps that when you add them up can seem exhausting. On their own you would barely give them a second thought. I often wonder the purpose of a day like today. Yet I am not one that believes that every thing is just coincidence. So, there must be things to learn from a day like today.

Maybe I over analyze things… I can just hear Dave saying, “You think!?!” I find the older I get the more I want my life to mean something. Not in a public way like a famous author or movie star, but if I have to have a day like today I don’t want it to be just random happenings. If there is something I can learn from it then I want to. I don’t want to just dismiss it and at the end of the day say, “Whew, glad that day is done,” and role over and start fresh tomorrow.

I want to take time to reflect and ponder is there something in this that I can learn. A favorite scripture of mine (I know I say that a lot but I do have lots of favorites) is Romans 8:28

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

To me one of the most important words in that verse is ALL. That means ever thing not just the easy stuff, not just the stuff that we understand, but all things. All those questions that you find yourself asking why to… you know the ones, why now, why me, why did this have to happen. All things work together for good.

I know many people who have suffered much and carry much pain and when that verse is offered in a time of suffering sometimes it stings. How is God working this out for my good, my husband left, my child is sick, we declared bankruptcy, the tornado took our house…. the list could go on and on.

Again, as I have said before I am no scholar, I have not studied Greek or Hebrew, but I am still left with needing to have some answer. In my clumsy, feeble attempt to answer one of life’s bigger question I would begin by saying that the Bible is not calling any of these tragedies good. Of course not, but good can be worked out of tragedy. In some translations it says, ‘in all things’… we could then say in all situations good can be worked out. It doesn’t mean that the child who is ill or the divorce or the death of a loved one is good. Sadly pain and suffering is in this world but really there are only a few things that come from these situations good or more pain. If we allow God in He can take our brokenness, our anger, our pain, our loneliness, our fears and he can bring healing, wholeness, peace, hope and joy. In Psalm 30:11 it says, “You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;”

So in all things God can and does work for our good. We do not see through His eyes, we can not presume that we know better. I could ask why Joel but I trust that God is good and he did not flippantly decide to allow cancer to happen in His life. Can I speak anything in to creation… NO so I will trust that the Maker of the universe has Joel covered. I could choose to embrace bitterness or I can choose to work with God and see what good He will work in my life, Joel’s life and the lives of those around me. Why would I choose to stay in my mourning when I could be dancing.

Boy sometimes when I sit down to post something I surprise myself with where I go. Today my struggles were all little things, late leaving for the hospital, spilled drinks, runny noses, bad port access, grumpy boy with no cheese on his burger etc. Other days it is bigger struggles that I face but the truth remains that ‘All things’ or ‘in All things’ God works them together for good. Big or small, hard or easy, but the crux of it is there is a choice you can be blinded by the pain or you can choose to see the good.

I don’t want to miss the good so even in a day like today that in the end is of little consequence I still want to see the miracle of the things being worked out for good. Am I indifferent to pain, of course not, I have days where I have to give it all back to God. I struggle along just like everyone else, but I want to see the good so I continue to place myself back in His capable hands. Some times what I have to offer Him is a scared, weak mess of a person other days I stand before Him strong and at peace. Never in my strength but clothed in the good strength and peace that He has worked out in me.